Dripping moon lost
In hypnotic dawn
Sulking sun resumes charge
--
The dripping taps
Never burst
Like this hypnotic state
You and me are in
Forever sulking in whispers
But seemingly happy to others
Dripping moon lost
In hypnotic dawn
Sulking sun resumes charge
--
The dripping taps
Never burst
Like this hypnotic state
You and me are in
Forever sulking in whispers
But seemingly happy to others
23 comments:
Appearances can be deceptive! this was great.
Great haiku! It's hard to come up with something fresh about sunrise, but you did!
Mine also has to do with the sun. Yours was lovely, and the second one had such a sadness to it that really touched me.
Good morning Jeeves. I agree appearances can be deceiving. One beautiful the other practiced. Well done. Have a great day.
I enjoyed both, but the first set a great image.
The second one is heartwrenching.
Kudos on both. Great read.
loved the second one more...
I like the dripping moon!
Like the first one best!
love the first one -love "dripping moon"
and what a view to someone's life for the second one - I suppose the grass isn't always greener
Brava! These are terrific...
Great work! :)
wonderful :-)
Second one is so true and so sad!
the second part was just perfect for me ! :)
both were perfect...
i liked the first one more though! :)
Wonderful I must say.
Yes both were good.
But my pick was the second one.
Something so true but still hidden in a veil of deception.
Nicely done.
~Harsha
Like both!
dragon rider
"lost in hypnotic dawn"...i like very much....it is all good though
I love the idea of the sulking sun. With the lack of sunspot activity of late, it's doubly poignant.
I liked both but the second was my favorite, especially these lines:
'Forever sulking in whispers
But seemingly happy to others'
It's amazing that something can seem so perfect to others but there are really myriad problems hiding under the surface.
who knew the sound of a drip could be so expressive.... i ache with yesterday's whisper... beautiful jeeves...
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